However my PoV was that the poster in questions was negotiating to keep the changes in the posters relationship to a level manageable for that poster.
When you are in a network of relationships with additional people, you also have to consider the comfort levels of those other people - some might be people you are not in a relationship with and will hardly, if ever, interact with. There is a fine line between me accommodating the comfort levels of my partner, and my partner dictating the nature and pace of my other relationships. Some people might be alright with their metamour doing that so as long as people are upfront that will be the case and don't try and conceal that they exercise that sort of privileging of the primary relationship, there is nothing wrong with that. As for whether it's poly or not, I define polyamory as someone having the potential to have more than one loving relationships at the same time with he knowledge and consent of all involved; it's about them having or being able to have more than one person they view as a romantic partner. That's up to the people involved to decide whether their arrangement/relationship style truly allows for that. I do find that some people claim that they have an arrangement that allows for that possibility but with the level of control and restrictions exercised over those other relationships, I find it hard to see how someone would be able to genuinely bond with the person enough for the relationship to progress to the sort of stage when someone becomes a romantic partner. That's when I guess I question how genuine the desire for polyamory is.