In my vocab?
You and your wife and your GF are exploring being married and non-monogamous.
You think could be monoamorous
(Desire or capacity to love one at a time) but are polysexual.
((desire or capacity to have more than one lover at a time -- not necessarily group sex, just more than 1 lover) and actually have a mutual friend as your lover at this time whose company you enjoy. I wonder if you are actually polyamorous
, but struggling to LABEL the different kinds of love out there to be felt so you can talk about it with less awkwardness.
Wife could be polyamorous
(Desire or capacity to love more than one at a time) and could be polysexual
(desire or capacity to have more than one lover at a time -- not necessarily group sex, just more than 1 lover). She does not have another lover at this time.
GF could be (monoamorous and monosexual) or (polyamourous and polysexual) or some other mix and match. You don't write about her enough for me to guess. She is ok being in a non-monogamous relationship and is grateful her metamour
(your wife) and her can have a friendly relationship since they share a hinge.
(YOU) in this "V."
To me? You seem to share consummate love
with your wife. You like her, are friends with her, share sex with her. But you have other commitments to her too -- marriage vows, children, a shared home and cohabitating as domestic partners and all that other "joint" stuff -- cars, checking accts, etc that a married couple might have.
You seem to share romantic love
with your lover -- if there is liking/friendship and body/passion type intimacy there. You seem uncomfortable calling it "romantic love" because then what kind of love name do you have left to use for what you share with wife? You are used to calling THAT love the "romantic love."
Maybe reading Love Theory
could help put more "love vocab" in your box that you could become more comfortable using? To help you describe what you feel and enable you to express yourself to the women in your life and be understood by them? While still honoring both women?