My AAR (After Action Review)
Well, my wife and I made it to the small gathering a few minutes early. It was a more public venue than I wouldíve chosen, in a fairly busy downtown coffee shop near a theater at a large central table. The lady facilitating had a small sign announcing the purpose of the meeting (which drew a few stares, oh well). Across from her was one unaccompanied fellow discussing in general terms about the importance of open communication in any relationship, but especially so in poly ones. A few minutes later a second facilitator arrived and the discussion began in earnest.
Since three of us had never attended such a function before we learned about the history larger poly organization the facilitator represented and how the facilitator(s) experienced poly in their lives. The unaccompanied fellow explained that he was seeking basic information but had not made a decision if poly was right for him. My wife volunteered that she had been considering poly for at least four years but only became serious about seeking it very recently. She is somewhat conflicted that she now very much wants a boyfriend, but unlike our facilitator cannot get over the idea of my pursuing a girlfriend.
FWIW, Iím not actually seeking a gf and only consider this if I thought she could handle it, she spent so much time with her new bf (which she hasnít found yet) that I felt I needed someone else and I found someone that I was truly drawn to. I explained that Iím still processing her request to look and at this point hope things develop slowly, and selfishly, wouldnít mind if she never found a suitable lover.
I did about the other larger social poly gatherings and learned some curious details. The advice of the primary moderator was to contact the host(s) to inquire about any special rules or protocols for their event(s), which made good sense to me. After the formal meeting the co-facilitator altered us to few things to be alert to at the larger gathering we plan to attend next. We intend to visit next, and will make every effort to be good guests, but understand that sometimes being new guests at an established group can be difficult and hope all will work out well there.
Vicarious, if you'd like, Iíll pass along anything of note I learn at the larger group meeting prior to your (wifeís?) meeting?