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Old 03-04-2010, 02:54 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hello Miane and welcome !

First off - for be a non-native speaker I have to complement you. Better than some native I've seen (clarity)

One thing I think is key that you mentioned is that she (or both of you?) is having some other crisis in her life she's dealing with. You can really only fight so many fires at one time. Maybe keep that in mind and don't take anything that happens between you too literally right now. Let a little more slide than maybe you otherwise might.

When she say she feels her "emotions" are hindering her - trust her on that. That can be a very valuable insight. When faced with complex issues you can't allow feelings & emotions to reign supreme in the decision making process. You need to send them to their corner sometimes and dig out the logical side.

As far as being a team effort and supporting each other in the outside crises, that's a tricky balance and much depends on individual personalities and patterns each has developed for dealing with stuff. Some people need more space to focus, others need more support. I'd just remind each other that you are "there" for the other whenever necessary and it feels right. But let each of you set your own pace and keep in mind that really - in the end - we all have to make our own decisions and use our own methods to get to where we need to go. Nobody can really do it "for" us.

So while it's true that sharing burdens is a desirable method of attacking some things, there are personal pieces in there too that we sometimes need to resolve. Try to respect that, all the while keeping the door open for help where you can.

So in general, I wouldn't get too attached to any particular vision or outcome right now. Chaos arises for us all from time to time and we just have to try to stay flexible and be open to how things evolve.

Good luck !

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