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Old 09-30-2013, 04:06 AM
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ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA, U.S.A.
Posts: 362

Originally Posted by LoveBunny View Post
I'm trying online dating for the first time in my life, and I need a little help with "netiquette." Some is generic to any online daters, but for numbers 3 and 4 I need people on this board specifically:

1) How long do you message someone online before it should move into telephone/skyping/meeting depending on which you prefer?

2) If you are not particularly physically attracted to someone's pictures, but not repulsed, is it worth it to meet in person? She would be driving for a few hours to meet with me, so I'd hate to have her come and then I'm blasé about her. I have no intention of getting with anyone unless I'm feeling Passion with a capital "P."

3) My profile explains I'm married, husband knows I date outside the marriage, but he will not be involved. The woman I'm talking to has a long-distance boyfriend who allows her to date women. By about our fourth message, I decided to give her the gritty details of my level of experience in bisexuality/non-monogamy, and my current arrangement with my husband. I wanted to make sure the situation was acceptable to her so there'd be no misaligned expectations. I asked for details about her level of experience with women and open relationships. Now I'm wondering if I should have waited to discuss all that until AFTER we were fairly certain there was an attraction. I'm worried that saying so much so soon projected a level of intention I don't necessarily feel (like I'm definitely wanting to have relations with this woman.) Thoughts?

4) I don't want to lie on my profiles. But I feel embarrassed putting my own income, which isn't much, so I put my household income instead, which relies on my husband's salary. Without him, I'd be near poverty level. I love the work I do, but it's not a big money maker and comes with zero benefits. salary or my household salary? Remember, these women are dating me only. Husband will have no involvement (his choice.)
1) These kinds of things can not be determined in a way that applies to every one, every individual is unique and every relationship is unique like a snowflake.~ It all depends both of you and when you both feel ready to move forward or in any direction to do any thing.~

2) I can not give you any but my own perspective: I am not just attracted to some one's picture or how they appear to be to the eyes, but I am attracted to the entire person.~ So at first, all pictures do not usually affect my thinking of them as I see it simply as another aspect of them, what I think of them as a person determines how attracted to them I am.~ I do not know if this applies to every one, but if you get to know some one and you like who they are as a person it may change your perspective of them completely even the outward appearance to your eyes.~ Even the most "beautiful" of women can become the most repulsive of creatures if you believe they are a horrible person truly.~ The same can be said of the most "repulsive" of creatures if you learn that they are one the most wonderful of persons you have ever met, they may no longer be so repulsive to you any longer and may even turn from "an ugly duckling" into "a beautiful swan".~

3) In my personal opinion, it is always best to be all open with every thing as you feel comfortable with it.~

4) Does the relationship you intend to have is based upon money or some kind of business? If not, then I would say money has absolutely nothing to do with establishing a relationship with some one based upon love.~ The only exception I can think of would be if you or they or both of you are intending to do something such as raise a child together and either of you or you both think that you need some kind financial stability to count upon for this.~ I wouldn't rely upon this either, because especially with this planet's economy the way it is nothing of the future can be known for sure, all you can do is make the best of what you have.~
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