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Old 09-30-2013, 01:03 AM
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MsChristy MsChristy is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: East Coast
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBunny View Post
1) How long do you message someone online before it should move into telephone/skyping/meeting depending on which you prefer?
There is no right answer. I know some people like to get comfortable first prior to meeting, while other friends of mine have chosen to meet someone new as soon as possible so as to see if there is a connection, and if not break things off sooner than later. I met my husband on-line and we e-mailed back and forth for a week before doing phone calls, and then another week before meeting in person.
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2) If you are not particularly physically attracted to someone's pictures, but not repulsed, is it worth it to meet in person? She would be driving for a few hours to meet with me, so I'd hate to have her come and then I'm blasé about her. I have no intention of getting with anyone unless I'm feeling Passion with a capital "P."
Do you like everything else you are seeing except the pic? If so, then I would say it is worth meeting. Many people have terrible pics, that may be outdated.
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3) My profile explains I'm married, husband knows I date outside the marriage, but he will not be involved. The woman I'm talking to has a long-distance boyfriend who allows her to date women. By about our fourth message, I decided to give her the gritty details of my level of experience in bisexuality/non-monogamy, and my current arrangement with my husband. I wanted to make sure the situation was acceptable to her so there'd be no misaligned expectations. I asked for details about her level of experience with women and open relationships. Now I'm wondering if I should have waited to discuss all that until AFTER we were fairly certain there was an attraction. I'm worried that saying so much so soon projected a level of intention I don't necessarily feel (like I'm definitely wanting to have relations with this woman.) Thoughts?
It depends. I don't know if I would pour my heart out to someone like that prior to meeting them, but I also understand when dating in nontraditional circumstances it is good to make sure everyone is on the same page as far as being open with partners, etc. I don't have much experience with this as I haven't done much on-line dating while in an existing relationship, however my husband has done some on-line dating and does like to make sure everyone is on the same page and then you can always discuss more relationship stuff once you meet.
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4) I don't want to lie on my profiles. But I feel embarrassed putting my own income, which isn't much, so I put my household income instead, which relies on my husband's salary. Without him, I'd be near poverty level. I love the work I do, but it's not a big money maker and comes with zero benefits. So...my salary or my household salary? Remember, these women are dating me only. Husband will have no involvement (his choice.)
I never mention income. It isn't important, and IMO that is personal. It sounds like you are using OK Cupid, which I believe does have a section where you can put what industry you work in, so you could fill that out if you do want people to see that you have a job.
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MsChristy- married female
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H-my partner
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