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Old 09-29-2013, 10:55 PM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus
If I introduce IV to my friends as "my girlfriend, IV" unfortunately it provides them with a set of assumptions which are not all true. It's the same when someone asks me "do you have a girlfriend?"... they are not asking me if I have a partner in the way that *I* relate (which is an uncommon approach to put it mildly), they are asking me if I have a partner in the way that people *commonly* have partners. So while my answer to this question is "yes"... it's also kind of "no, not in the way you mean it"
Yeah, that's part of the reason A, L and I don't use boyfriend/girlfriend to refer to one another. We're just too different from people's common perception of boyfriend/girlfriend. Plus, because our relationships are non-sexual and in the grey area between platonic and romantic, even putting the assumption of exclusivity and (eventual) domestic partnership aside, we still don't think boyfriend/girlfriend is a fitting title for us.

However, I refer to G as my husband, because we're indeed legally married. If it makes sense to tell people we're poly, we'll tell them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorsWolf View Post
The only kind of "shallow" friendships to me are those based upon not being friendly simply for the sake of being friendly or wanting a friend, but those based upon "shallow" factors such as looks, status, and prestige.~
For me, a typical kind of shallow friendships is friendships primarily based on proximity and/or convenience. My "friendships" with some people at school are in this category. We get along okay; we help each other with schoolwork; we work together in our research; we meet up for dinner once in a while. But when we're together, we mostly have small talk about school, food, latest TV shows, etc. We don't have shared life philosophy. We don't have a deep intellectual or emotional connection. I don't think of them if we haven't met up for a while. When we're not in the same school anymore in the future, I don't expect us to keep in touch regularly or at all. I consider them (good) acquaintances or casual friends at most. But YMMV.
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Heteroromantic asexual female, sex-positive, childfree, relationship anarchist.
Married to G, and in a partially non-romantic, completely non-sexual and long-distance triad with A and L.

Last edited by Eponine; 09-29-2013 at 11:05 PM.
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