Glad to be here- hope I'm doing this right!
10 years married, adore my husband.
5 years poly, give or take.
4 partner attempts.
2 disasters, 2 sucesses.
attempt #1 - disaster: I fell in love with her. 4 months later, she left.
attempt #2 - disaster: she fell in love with him. near catastrophe. 8 months of total hell. almost destroyed my marraige.
attempt #3 - success! he's lovely, and i visit frequently, though the sex has cooled to a calm, romantic friendship. (current partner)
attempt #4 -success! she's a lovely swinger who visits, we play, she goes home. new relationship. (current partner)
we are not open about our relationship at this time. neither one of us want the drama from church or family.
:::sigh::: this isn't the marraige I signed up for- but it's better than that one would have been- though much more complex. It's also WAY healthier than most of the marraiges I see- I wish there were some numbers on how many poly relationships are out there- because I don't think monogamy makes any sense whatsoever. I seriously think polyamory or some version of it might save the american marraige. I dunno - ever the optomist.
Best wishes, prolly