Sex positive upbringing?
Momoiroi has had a much more sex positive upbringing than I did, and I believe than Kuroi had as well. Or at least one that has been less sexually repressed. Allowing Momoiroi to explore sexuality, love, ect. more easily.
In elementary school Momoiroi experienced a first kiss with both bio-sexes. Momoiroi also experienced a first (and so far only) date. This date happened with the same bio-sex as Momoiroi (and was chaperoned by me). Momoiroi keeps in contact with that first date despite the multistate distance separating them once that family moved away. Yeah for social media, and Skype video! Momoiroi has more tools to keep up with long-distant friends and loved ones then I did as a child. Momoiroi’s first love moved away during elementary school, a year after they became a couple.
Momoiroi currently identifies as bisexual. However not all the hormones are present that could change Momoiroi’s sexual orientation. Momoiroi is now in middle school, and still considers that first date to be a partner/SO. Momoiroi I realized within this year is a young poly. Momoiroi “goes steady” with locals, and is in an LDR. Momoiroi talks about getting a first apartment with this LDR person. Will that happen? Perhaps, but then again maybe not. It’s still too early in Momoiroi’s life (sexual, romantic, or otherwise) to speculate with any certainty. In short Momoiroi came to poly naturally without influence from the parental adults in Momoiroi’s life “leading by example”.Kuroi and I didn’t attempt out currentl Poly till Momoiroi was about to start middle school. At which point she was already engaged an LDR with her first same bio-sex love, and “going steady” locally while her LDR was also “going steady” locally. And during the first summer Momoroi and her LDR were apart they did get a visit when her LDR came to town to visit other family. Not as much physically present time as an adult LDR, but still they maintain their relationship. Momoiroi and her first same boi-sex SO have been together for about 5 years, and have been “poly” for about 4 years. (They began their LDR poly before Momoiroi was exposed to poly by parental adults)
Kuroi and I never really discussed it, yet we decided, or agreed not to keep my bisexuality a secret, it’s not dirty, or anything to be ashamed of. This open approach, and our easy acceptance of the same-sex couples in our lives have had (what seems) a positive effect on Momoiroi. Not all of Momoiroi’s same-sex experiences have been positive. Momoiroi first year in middle school caused some stress when Momoiroi asked out a person of the same gender. At first this person was accepting, but over the weekend this changed. We believe this person spoke to their parent(s), and that is what changed things. It became a thing of gossip, that greatly hurt Momoiroi. This was an event that Momoiroi and I talked about a good deal, Momoiroi also talked to Kuroi about this.
Momoiroi was reminded that not all people are brought up the same way. Not all families are as accepting of all aspects of a persons life. And just like religious beliefs one must be careful whom they disclose sexual preferences to. This was an unfortunate learning experience, one Kuroi and I had hoped would not happen, but also expected, and knew could not be prevented. In conversations between Momoiroi and I, I made it clear that this person was losing out on a wonderful friendship at the very least. That it’s easy to find people who conform to social norms, and not so easy to find people who go their own way. That Momoiroi ways are unique to Momoiroi, and that losing out on this person as a possible friend/partner is not as big of a deal as it felt in that moment. Close minded “normal” middle-schoolers are a dime a dozen. By the end of that week Momoiroi had found the bisexual group, or the group of kids who are comfortable expressing alternative sexualities, and became friends with several of them.
The next year of school Momoiroi’s friends noticed that this person who had caused so much stress for Momoiroi the year before was attempting to befriend them (and Momoiroi). I suggested that Momoiroi accept this person offered friendship, but avoid disclosing any more preferences. Acceptance and forgiveness, be willing to put in as much effort towards friendship with this person as they are willing to put in to being Momoiroi’s friend.
Me - Murasaki - Bi/pan
LTR SO - Kuroi - Straight (to complicated to have a current title)
Child of Murasaki & Kuroi - Momoiroi
Kimidori - Kuroi's other primary
In LTR of 22 years, married for 14 years to Kuroi
Didn't realize we had a poly type relationship in High school. Exploring poly again now that our Child is older.