Well, if it helps, I loved When Someone You Love is Kinky. I thought it handled the subject kindly and in a fair amount of detail for someone who is new to it all, and it didn't give so much detail that you get overwhelmed. Way back when we first started seeing Asha, she handed us a book called (I think) Screw the Roses, Give Me the Thorns. That is a very exhaustive book, and I got overwhelmed after flipping through it and had to put it down. It's just too much for a newbie. Honestly, it's still a bit overwhelming to me now.
BTW, thank you everyone for reassuring me. I appreciate it!