Originally Posted by Marcus
There are apparently quite a few mono people dating poly people and I'm told it can work out just fine.
I do find the concept of a poly person who will not tolerate their partner also being poly to be hypocritical and controlling... but it's still technically poly.
I don't see the problem with the position that Sweetone is taking in regards to her husband. My wife is also in the beginning stages of living a poly lifestyle as opposed to a monogamous one. She also is very possessive of me and does not want to open our marriage up so that I can see others. That is fine with me as I have no desire to see other people besides her. I am however quite supportive of her desire and need to be poly.
You can call it hypocritical, however I don't see it that way. I do not believe that all relationships need to be fit into a nice tidy mold, nor do I believe that it is fair to expect every person to be the same. We all have our idiosyncrasies, this is hers. I thought the poly community was supposed to be a very non- judgemental group of people. Comments such as this are not only judgmental, they offend me because they could just as easily be said about my wife.
If Sweetone is anything like my wife, I believe that she is just being honest about who she is. When this conversation first arose between my wife and I, she was very honest about her feelings and was very much relieved to find out that I was perfectly happy to open our marriage for her while remaining mono myself. She would have remained mono rather than put herself through the anxiety
That she would have certainly faced. Until you have walked in her shoes you have no right to challenge her on her insecurities. The same its true of Sweetone.