I got a text yesterday saying "shit" from PR. I ask back "what's up". He "puking for last two hours"...backstory he met someone a few days ago (I am 100% okay with it, no jealousy, no insecurity) but I had this nagging feeling PR wasn't being honest yesterday when he cancelled on me.
I was telling DH about it and he advised yesterday to just be patient. Then PR texts me today he has a date, etc. More backstory...when I've been trying to get a "date" on PR's days off he keeps giving me an excuse of having his kids. So today is his day off and he's out on a date.
My intuition is telling me to just let it go. Yes I care for him and do not want to end our friendship. I just don't want to be his "rebound" for ever. I want a relationship not a sex-ship. And he's put me in a position that I will be going into for std tests in the next month because he had sex with his last girlfriend without protection (we are fluid bonded) and he never told me...I discovered in his story of OM trying to get herself pregnant by him. (When PR and I decided to try a relationship I explained my boundaries of safe sex and telling me when he doesn't use protection). I really care for him but I have no energy to wait around and be told one week he wants to be mono and then the next week whining to me about why he's down.
DH now understands what I was talking about yesterday. I don't believe he was ill. I think because of how long we go in bed and worn out I make him, he cancelled so he would have energy for this new person and their date tonight.
So I'm setting my parameters of meeting someone for them to at least be within my area and not 30 minutes away, to not live in the basement of their parents house, to have a vehicle (not PR but another guy I had a connection with) and that he has a place we can meet at (whether he's single or lives with roommates - weeds out the cheaters whose wife doesn't know her husband is screwing around on her). At least with this sort of preference I won't be wasting my time. I've been with PR since early July and even though the sex is hot...emotionally I'm not fulfilled by it.
Gosh it feels good to make this decision.