Thread: Empty feeling
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Old 09-27-2013, 03:05 PM
drinnt's Avatar
drinnt drinnt is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 58
Default Two Directions

From what I'm reading you and DH want two different things. You are being pulled in two different directions in regards to sex/relationships outside of your marriage.

He wants casual sex.
You want a relationship.
You will let him swing.
He isn't happy with you having a relationship.

There's no way that formula ends up with you both getting what you want AND you both being happy.

Meanwhile...the house, family, career and social life all suffer because you guys are at odds about what? Who you can fuck outside of your marriage?

IMHO - you guys gotta pull back to your core relationship here and get connected with why you got married in the first place. You have kids looking to you every day for an example of how this life sh*t goes.

My opinion in looking at this is if you two can't agree on and be happy about your extramarital activities then you have four choices:

-Do nothing different and keep lamenting over what you each can't have
-Do what you each want even though it would make each other UNhappy
-Break up and have your life to do with as you please
-Focus on your marriage and get your relationship to a happy place again

I think your looking around at all the things you CAN'T have as reasons why you are not happy...and "if I could only have X and Y and Z everything would be sunshine and roses." (dramatic paraphrase).

Take a look at what you DO have. Find the happiness in your life. Don't you have any reasons to be absolutely in love with your life? Why don't you try working on making a happy home with what you have? When you and DH are happy with what you have again...then maybe you guys can figure out...from a happy place...what you can safely ADD to your life.
J - my wife & partner since 2000
D - R's wife & my unfortunately ex-girlfriend :-(
R - D's soon to be ex-husband & J's boyfriend
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