Originally Posted by Marcus
It would be unrealistic for someone to say that.
And yet...someone did.
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
All of the shackles are self made.
You need to move on as well. So he cheated. The agreements have now changed. Get over it. If you have the balls, go make peace with her. For all you know she may be a wonderful person who is able to support and understand your desire for poly-a person who epic failed before.
And insult to injury...if YOU 'have the balls' go make peace with HER. Maybe she's a wonderful person.
No, she's NOT a wonderful person. A wonderful person doesn't help hurt another human being in the very devastating way that infidelity hurts another. Infidelity strikes to the very core. Infidelity is not just sex, but lies and mind games that tear down and destroy the one you claim to love. KerrBear's husband and this woman both chose to do this. They chose to disregard KerrBear's trust, the effect of the lies and mind games on her, and even how harming her would further harm the children she's trying to care for.
Infidelity affects the whole family, but all the husband and this woman could see was that they really liked screwing each other. No, this is not the behavior of a 'wonderful' person.
I would suggest, if this woman 'has the balls,' she ought to come forward and apologize for egregious, harmful behavior. She ought to attempt to make peace and help heal the wounds that her actions helped cause.
To be honest, I'm not sure I read this story, as more details come out, as KerrBear having a deep desire for poly, as much as KerrBear trying to keep a marriage together in the face of deep pain from infidelity and continuing disregard and disrespect from her husband. I see it as an attempt to have some love from a man that is not coming from her husband, more than a genuine desire to have multiple loving relationships. Heck, it's an attempt to have JUST ONE loving relationship. KerrBear, I apologize if I'm misreading this.
And this woman--yes, of course she'll support the supposed desire for poly because it means she can keep screwing this guy and now tell herself she's not doing anything wrong. That's not necessarily the same as wanting to 'support' KerrBear.