Thread: Abuse
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Old 03-03-2010, 04:47 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
For example, GG's mom let all 4 of her kids drop out of school at varying ages, to me that is abuse (by way of neglect). Absolutely not acceptable parenting to make no effort to teach a child that learning is IMPERATIVE for their own well-being.
I don't agree with this being "abuse." As a life-long academic, I definitely do see the value of education... For some people. My 16-year-old step-daughter is in a place on her "life journey" right now where she has absolutely no interest in school, she skips most of her classes and fails the ones she hasn't gotten expelled from. We believe she has an undiagnosed learning disability, but her school isn't dealing with that issue and she has made it very clear to us that any attempts to intervene on her behalf are considered by her to be an intrusion on her independence (not that she put it that way, it was more like "Quit telling me what to do! It's my life and I'll do what I want!"). But hell, she's 16 and like a lot of teenagers, she's convinced that her parents are full of shit and out to ruin her life.

So our opinion is that at this point in her life, she would actually be better off to drop out of school and gain some real life experience. Once she has a better idea of her life goals, she'll be in a better position to find the motivation to succeed at school. There's nothing wrong with getting a GED when you're 22.

We have "made an effort" to teach her that learning is important but I definitely believe that there are a lot more ways to "learn" than by sitting in a classroom, feeling like an idiot because you can't keep up. I feel like this whole "education is the only path to success" attitude these days does a lot of kids more harm than good, and it devalues other skills that are not education-based. Every parent wants what's best for their children and few want their kids to have a career as a waitress or janitor. But everyone wants to go out for dinner and have clean floors at the office, so these jobs play a very important and undervalued role in society. And frankly, some people just "aren't that bright" and I can see no reason for forcing them to learn calculus and poetry when all they really want to do is drive trucks (please don't interpret that as me saying truck drivers are unintelligent, that's not what I mean at all).

My husband dropped out when he was 16 and went to work full-time. He developed a very strong work ethic in the process and a sense of accomplishment and independence that he wasn't getting through eduction. He also has a learning disability, and 30 years ago, the education system had no idea what that was or how to help those students, so for him school was just a long string of frustrations and disappointments, feeling like the stupidest kid in class because he never understood anything.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 03-03-2010 at 04:55 PM.
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