Originally Posted by phantazmagoria
@MsChristy .... yes I have communicated. They are both super understanding ... but I'm feeling like I'm always causing drama in the relationship because I just can't "chill the fuck out".... but I want to more than anything. I hate feeling like a drama queen.
Okay, love the advice, but I'm going to play the bad cop here. Yes, you are causing drama here. So, feeling is probably accurate. But you do want to figure out a solution, so that's awesome.
As for the advice, the tips are great, but you say "I want to be able to know they are together, and be happy that they are having a good time"? The tips might work for others, but you're the only one, in the end, who can control how you feel. Trust me, I feel left out constantly (whether it's a relationship, friends seeing a concert I can't get to, etc.) Only thing that works for me is to focus on what I'M doing, realize I can't do everything and be everywhere, and not worry about what I might be "missing out on."
I thought I was jealous of a partner, before realizing the real issue was me feeling left out of ANYTHING. Problem? Yes. Fixable? Yes.
If, on the other hand, what you're really feeling is jealousy, and the ONLY situation you feel left out in is when he is with someone who he feels affection for....well, then maybe poly isn't for you and you need to find someone who can do what you need to be happy.