I hope that all is or will soon be going well for you (all) – and especially in the vet er.
If I may so bold as to ask, did your revelation of now having two husbands truly come as a surprise or was this something that you desired or at least considered as a possibility? If not, did you have other expectations where your relationships were headed?
How is the dynamic between your two guys? Do they get along well, have similar personalities, etc?
Is it possible that your husband is in some ways troubled by your time with your new guy and may this be the root of the scheduling complications?
This is a significant aspect that I’m concerned about with my wife’s interest in finding a bf. I truly enjoy her presence and miss her when she’s not there when I return. If she ends up spending “too much” time with her new guy, and I felt neglected or like someone boring and stale, I might respond if in a negative mood by making things more difficult for her to be away or be more withdraw if feeling self-conscious – at least until the time was right to tell her what was really bothering me. I don’t know how your Butch would respond if he had similar feelings, but possibly he might have similar feelings and reactions?