Yes I do have an idea of what I think is abuse, but my idea isn't the same as other people I know.
For example, GG's mom let all 4 of her kids drop out of school at varying ages, to me that is abuse (by way of neglect). Absolutely not acceptable parenting to make no effort to teach a child that learning is IMPERATIVE for their own well-being.
My father spanked us (10 per infraction) with a belt when I was a child. GG's mom would say that was abuse.
Maca's father had a rule that if they were going to drink/smoke that they had to do it at his home. He would allow it so long as he knew that they were "safe" in his home and not out roaming the streets... to my parents THAT is abuse...
There are some obvious ones, having sexual relations with a child, when a child has bruises all over their body from the hitting (we never had bruising from my dad's belt
), when a person degrades a child's person verbally in such a way as to cause emotional damage and low self-esteem. These are ones that in the US we accept as abuse.
BUT even these aren't all considered abuse in other countries... on another message board there was a thread pages and pages long arguing over a little girl who was given in marriage at age 9 or 10 to a man in his 50s. The mother fought in court to stop it, and lost because in that country it was perfectly legal. The courts ONLY concession was that the man couldn't consummate the marriage until the child had her first menstral cycle... (my mom's first was age 9..).... so obvious in some places even what we generally agree is abuse here in the US isn't considered abuse.
As this is an online board and accessible to people from a variety of countries in the world, one can pretty reasonably assume that the definitions of abuse abound in the people who are here...
I was truly not trying to be sarcastic or annoying with my reply to your thread. I tried to consider it seriously-but what I came up against was which definition is being used? Even in OUR poly family-the three of us each believe we were NOT abused as children, and yet our respective parents WOULD say our parents were abusive. Too confusing...