Thank you ColorsWolf. Part of me knows that it is her issues causing the pain to her, and it is very heart-wrenching to watch, to say the very least. I just hope I can help her get through the pain and come to a place where we can talk about it without it being so painful to her.
And yes Kevin, I agree I need to be honest with her about my friends feelings for me at some point, I just don't think it is something she is quite ready to hear about right now....so that is a conversation for another day for sure.
I want to thank you all so much for taking the time to talk to me about this! Its very comforting to know that other people have been through this as well, and that I am not the bad person I had been thinking I was.
Thank you so much!