Dingedheart, yes my friend also has feelings for me and she knows of my feelings for her, but we have not acted on those feelings out of respect for my wife, and my marriage. My wife doesn't know she has feelings for me, and I thought it would be best if she didn't, because somehow I think she would take that news MUCH worse.
For the time being I am going to not bring up the subject and let her emotional frenzy die down a bit before I try discussing anything poly further, I think that may be best in both our interests at this point. Meanwhile, I am doing research and reading on it so that at least I can come to peace with it for myself, so that I don't feel so much like a jerk for having feelings for someone else, and for hurting her with that information when she confronted me about it.
Its very difficult having feelings for two people, kudos for everyone that makes it work!
BTW my wife has one adult daughter, and I have no children of my own...