Snowflake will continue to be a sore spot. It's what it is. We're never going to be civil. Every time I've attempted to give her the benefit of the doubt, she presents a hundred reasons why it's a bad idea. Her true colours keep shining, and it's not a nice image. It's kind of like giving somebody enough rope to hang themselves. She keeps hanging herself, and I'm sure I'll get blamed for her falling out of favour with the Mrs.
I told her ex-girlfriend that I wanted to be left alone, but she kept sending me messages and asking if we could talk. Another broken boundary. She figured I was pulling the strings and making decisions like not allowing her to see the kids. Little did she realise, I wasn't the one. To this day, I never once told or even asked my wife to end the relationship. I saw what she was doing, and I still chose to leave and left her find out herself. I never told my kid she couldn't see her. She decided to end that relationship and cut contact. I never told my wife she couldn't be friends with her. The only thing I've stood by is keep her the hell away from me.
This last situation was the final straw. It was more proof that respecting boundaries isn't something she cannot do. We had the same problem when she was in a relationship with her. I used to ask her to call before just dropping by. She would show up unannounced anyway. If she can't respect the little things, I'd be a fool to expect her to respect anything major. They were just friends, and she was already heading down the same path. I stopped it before it could pick up steam and speed. I don't want a redo of the past five years. I'll leave and take her to court for custody first.
I had previously agreed to seek therapy with her, so we could try to get along and at least be cordial, so I'm not mean. I've been too forgiving in the past, and it always burned me. Never again. The minute I forgive her, she'll do something to top all the other efforts. In three months, there was a shift. I went from having boundaries to tolerate polyamory to wanting no contact or interaction for any reason.
Last edited by Matt; 09-25-2013 at 02:09 PM.