Thread: Matt's Thoughts
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Old 09-25-2013, 11:00 AM
Matt Matt is offline
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 89

I haven't been on in three months. Serious changes have taken place.

We've now settled in Australia, and the royal cupcake did, too. Unwanted tagalong is more like it. I digress. The first weekend here proved why a relationship with Ryl and her ex-girlfriend would never work. She put her girlfriend before family time, and by the time she strolled in, the kids were getting ready for bed. I had to explain to them why their mum wasn't there, and I think that was the turning point for my baby girl and her relationship with pseudo mummy. More on that later.

I got in to another confrontation with my lady's ex-girlfriend. She decided to grow some balls and confront me while we were entertaining our guests. In public, no less. I tried to turn the other cheek, but when she popped off at the mouth and asked me why I wasn't letting her see her kids, I had to correct her. The first argument paled in comparison because that was months worth of frustrations coming out. I couldn't bite my tongue another second longer, so I let her have it. After that display, my Mrs. decided she wanted to cut contact. She felt disrespected and shamed.

After that blow-up, the royal snowflake sent my Mrs. an e-mail and confessed to everything I told my wife from 2008 to present day. You know the whole I-think-your-girlfriend-is-intentionally-undermining-me-as-a-parent-using our children-trying to replace me-and-trying-to-break-up-our-marriage. I wanted to tell her, "I told you so," but that was inappropriate. I dislike her ex-girlfriend, and I wanted to legally make sure she could have no access to me or my kids after her outburst. To be continued on that.

The kid decided to give a nice fuck you to my Mrs.'s ex-girlfriend. For her own reasons and following her heart, she decided that a relationship with pseudo, makeshift mummy isn't what's in her best interest. She's not impressionable, and I never said anything about the royal snowflake in front of her or even while she was in the home. I kept my opinions to myself. She told pur therapist that she didn't want or need another mother, and she felt like makeshift mummy was taking her mother away from her. Our therapist told her we could do one of two things. Force her to be around my wife's ex-girlfriend and run the risk of resentment or accept that she has opinions and respect them. Doc explained that she came to us with her grievances, which meant she thought about how to do it in a respectful manner and trusts that we'll listen and respect her. No contact it is. She's a beaming, happy, well-adjusted gifted kid, who's doing well...even without makeshift mummy around.

My Mrs. came to me with a proposition. I heard her out. The proposition was that we amend the postnuptial agreement by including an infidelity-esque clause that specifically included non-monogamy--open relationship, polyamory, swinging, or anything outside of exclusivity in the marriage. It wasn't my idea before anyone thinks I persuaded her to do anything. Last time I was on here, I gave my boundaries for ever tolerating a polyamorous relationship. I needed time and our marriage to me on the mend before ever entertaining the notion again. The lady had other plans that didn't include polyamory. We negotiated on the terms. I requested that the clause apply to me, too. The documents are official and finalised.

Is the marriage closed permanently? I can't say. My Mrs. presented her reasons for wanting to close, and my name and feelings about polyamory were not on the list. She didn't do for me. She's been adamant about that and corrects anyone who implies it. I'll say that 60% had to do with protecting our kids. The other 40% were her personal reasons.

What's next? Only time will tell. Keeping the marriage healthy is at the top of the list. I love my wife, and I'm in love with her. She made some mistakes, but she's apologised and proven that she's willing to do what it takes to help save our marriage and earn my trust back. No one said relationships or marriage were easy. She routinely thanks me for putting up with her and apologises for me having to deal with her. She asked for time to make it right, and she has. She asked me to stay and work with her to correct the wrongs. An offer I couldn't refuse, and one I'll never regret.
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