I really feel for you. It is hard for me to sympathize with your wife's point of view, because I think her rules are unreasonable. The other thing is some people are forever unwilling to forgive and forget. Say, for example, that you avoid looking at porn 5 years - is she the type to honor you for forgoing for 5 years or still take you to task that you broke that promise all that time ago? If the latter, then you have the choice of ending the relationship or being treated like a pariah for the rest of your life.
Not much more I can add. You will need a lot of courage what ever you do. Best of luck.