Originally Posted by disarmedheart
Fast forward, the triad relationship is over, ending with my original partner (O) lying and cheating on the both of us (M and I). This broke M's heart and neither of us had really ever been mono together and didn't quite know how to go about it at first and there was much adjusting to be done. We tried to form other poly relationships, but none quite took off.
We've both always been of the polyfidelitous triad mindset.
Missed this the first time - sorry.
This is hard. She - both of you - were hurt. It's a lot of effort living such a lifestyle. For some the "possible" benefits just aren't worth the hassle & potential heartbreak. I guess I can say both my mate & I have been on and off that horse several times over time. Sometimes you just don't have it in you to get on again.
And I guess that's what I meant when I said time changes much. We only have so much emotional energy at a given time and a lot depends on what else it competing for it.
But too bad you've been in a holding pattern for 3 years ! That's a long healing time, but maybe you needed it.
We wish you all the happiness you can build.