Originally Posted by redsirenn
Judith Lipton (author of the myth of monogamy) apparently stated that most people she interviewed who approach non-monogamy in their partnerships were once victims of abuse.
This caught my eye. I was a victim of abuse, mentally and physically, and am still recovering from it. ........
regardless what are your thoughts on this
I remember seeing someone post a "broad brush" comment like this some time ago to the effect that most 'poly' people's religious leanings were pagan or atheist.
So no doubt one could find a line of psychologists or psychiatrists that could make some connection to abuse and non-monogamy. Be an easy leap to make.
But I think I may see quite another connection between both of these.
One thing I have observed is that the majority of 'poly' minded people are people who seem to lean toward a certain degree of introspection and self analysis. For people who tend to sit back and think about "things", delve into them a little, and try to determine how that might apply to their life & experience (or desire), it's easy to see the holes in the classic, straight & narrow etc way of living. Uncovering enough lies tends to make one look deeper at most everything.
And of course what can be a common source of introspection for victims of abuse ? No less than counseling ! It starts the ball a-rolling for many people. So I can see where there could be an indirect link there for some.
But for others, the "trigger" for thinking & analyzing may have come from a totally different direction. Once upon a time that was what college was supposed to be for ! Encouraging exposure to broader ideas and encouraging thinking.
People caught up in the fast lane seem to have neither the time nor the interest to engage in this type of thing. Easier to just swallow the 'norm' and keep racing along.