Originally Posted by ALpolyman
I've done quite a bit of reading off and on over the last 6 months or so. I think I've read just about everything on morethantwo. I'll check out "The Ethical Slut". Do you have any other recommendations? More than anything though, I think for us, talking about it and waiting a while...then coming back to it again has widened the door little by little. For example, one of my best friends is a female who is a co-worker. My wife used to think that she had the hots for me but she doesn't care anymore. She knows that we go to lunch and text and stuff. I suppose 'time' is what's helped somewhat. Two years ago, I would have freaked at the idea of my wife seeing another man or woman. Now, it's not as big of a deal so there are at least mental baby steps. I agree about what you say about ignoring needs though. I just can't explain it but I get these burning desires just thinking about what it would be like to be with another woman. I suppose that's just genetic coding and evolution at work underneath it all.
The personal guilt will just take some time. Itís definitely a tight rope to walk balancing what I want, my own guilt, what my wife thinks, etc. Through it all though, we both realize that humankind should have the option to explore love beyond the shackles of a marriage. I use the work shackles not because I feel trapped married to my wonderful wife, but because itís a societal norm that is preached to us over our lifetimes.
My boyfriend is enjoying "Opening Up" thats something you could read together. You seem like you are really doing some thinking and talking and thats great. Ypour coworker story amused me, cause thats how Nudge and I started (still work togehter). lol