Thank you so much for your input Kevin! I really appreciate all of your insight. I am just not sure what to do right now. My wife is not at all receptive to poly...she doesn't like to share....and I know, someday that might end up being the undoing of us. I have tried to explain to her that my feelings for the other woman do not change my feelings for her, and that I am capable of loving them both, obviously. I have also said that if she needed to leave because of it that I would understand. She has even gone as far as threaten to tell this person she wants her out of my life....and if that happened, I would probably be inclined to divorce her on the spot. I want them both in my life, and I am trying to juggle my friendship with the other woman, and trying to reassure my wife of my commitment to her....which is becoming a little exhausting at times. My wife seems to be especially needy now, and I am trying to work with her as much as humanly possible....
I have thought about counseling, she had also mentioned it, but I told her it had to be a poly therapist because I don't want someone who doesn't understand to sit there in judgement of me because I happen to love two women. Is there a website to help locate one?
I honestly don't think that cutting off contact with the other woman would change anything, my wife hangs on to hurt and resentment like its a part of her
She is a wonderful person for the most part, but not really open to changes of any sort, and I know at some point it will become a problem for me because I am coming to grips with who I am (poly), and try to grow whenever the opportunity arises in most aspects of my life.
The only plus side in this whole mess is that the other woman is poly and open to open relationships. Which, in the long run could work great for me...but in the mean time, I just have to see what happens I suppose, and continue trying to communicate and get through to my wife that I love her and nothing has changed with my feelings for her.
I like that...mistaken dreamer....most likely