Originally Posted by LoveMeTender
So, is this normal in the poly world for people to never say they love each other; to reserve that word for primaries only? Seems rather "un-poly" to me. I don't know. Am I asking for too much?
I don't think there is a "norm" and the guy I dated who didn't say the word, wasn't poly either.
In my poly dynamic, both my husband and my boyfriend say I love you and I say it to them.
Here's the thing, every person is an individual. Every couple is distinct also.
There's no "norm" for what is or what isn't acceptable. It's something to be defined individually for each relationship.
Maybe he doesn't define love the same way as you.
Maybe he doesn't think the words are an acceptable replacement for action. Maybe he is afraid.
We can guess all day long. The only way to deal with your individual situation is to communicate with each other so that you can know exactly what HIS reason is for not using the word.