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Old 09-22-2013, 08:00 AM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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My life is pretty busy at the moment, but good. Met up with Ocean half way between our two cities for about 10 hours on Friday. He was up to give a presentation. I'd hoped to make it for the talk but I couldn't get the time off work. So I took the overnight train, and snuck into his hotel at 3am We had breakfast together, and a walk down the river, then he headed back around midday. I killed another hour or so before my train home. Was just over 13 hours travel for me, all up, but totally worth it. Also I gave Ocean a bag of my gear to ferry back, which means I can now move all my remaining things myself, in one trip (I think/hope).

Another weekend with Lobe. We're having a lot of quality time. I guess it's gonna be long-distance for the foreseeable future, once I leave, so I want to make the most of this time together. He is wonderful, Christ. I love his face. It's kindly and also supersexy.

We've talked more about feelings, and we both seem to have a similar dis-ease with gushing on about love and dreams and other sentimental things. It's obvious we both feel really tender towards each other, but we're not sure what we're growing here and we want to be as gentle on ourselves as possible. Ache the least amount. Is it possible?

That said, I broke the L-word seal a few days ago. I said "psst... " very quietly. Lobe said "yes?" and I whispered "I love you." He replied "I love you too, but I don't want to say it too often." I said "I understand", because I do. Then he went on: "but I want you to know that I love you. Like, if you ever think to yourself 'I wonder if Lobe loves me?' you should tell yourself 'yes, he loves me.'"

Shit. I love him so much

Grotto and I had a shaky couple of days recently. No time to write about it now, as coffee is getting cold, but we had a really good discussion, and things are much better now. Never fails to amaze me how deep and tangled the roots of emotions can be.

In other news, camping plans with Djuna shaping up! She's gonna be here for TWO WEEKS in Oct/Nov, woop!
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