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Old 09-21-2013, 02:49 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monogamishSF View Post
Magdlyn, I take it you haven't found a lot of success with overnights? Or have you had situations where they continued and you found yourself feeling good?
Well, the thing is, my gf miss pixi is fine with ME having overnights. Before she and I moved in together this spring, we had 4 years of me dating others, having my own apartment. A couple of these guys did sleep at my place or vice versa, but nothing got too serious. But then when I met Ginger, he started spending one night at my place about every week almost right away. Thing is, miss p and I don't have a history of mistrust, cheating and broken boundaries like you and your partner do. So, compersion was always there on her side. I'd always love her up as soon as I could after a date with another person.

As far as how I feel about overnights for my partners: miss p's first outside relationship didn't last long. The guy liked her, but he'd been gay IDed before he met her, and she was also his first poly experience. His husband couldnt deal with being open, and they split. He dropped out during the separation and divorce.

Her 2nd guy: I was fine with her spending the night. Once I met her bf, I liked him very much and thought he was good for her, and felt lots of compersion.

Now, with Ginger's new interest, the herpes thing is what is bugging me. I'm just not comfortable with them having sex... things are all up in the air. So, overnights are just one more stress.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
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