He has no choice but to be away from home for that length of time, it's his job. He has been trying to get them to let him come home every 3 weeks or at least to give him an extra week off for every 3 weeks he works....no luck so far. He DOES usually, on good days, get to come home every 4 or 5 weeks.
I can handle his being gone for 3 to 9 weeks, but past 3 months I can't do. My grandpa was a truck driver and my uncle is a driver so I'm used to the long hours and weeks away from home.
Yes, he is celibate out there. I'm on the phone with him frequently, besides he works 16 to 18 hours a day and sometimes 20 hours a day. He has no energy for anything except to fall into bed and sleep for whatever little sleep he can get.
We've talked about that, her getting a place nearby, but she wants to stay at the house with me. We've told her that she can if she wants to she does not have to stay if she doesn't want, but she insists she wants to be with me in the same house.
She came from the Mormon that had multiple wives, not so sure about the younger girls with older men thing.
I guess that's possibly a little of why he does the bare minimum to keep her around. He wants me to be able to have a relationship I want with a female. He knows it's hard to find those who are able to deal with his being gone so much, and she deals with it as well as I do. So he is able to be a part of the triad as well with her here and she is willing to be with both.
Yes, I know this situation is complicated. That's why I ask for advice to hopefully get it smoothed out so it will be waaayyyyy less complicated. I know we can have a successful poly relat or even a triad, as long as we are able to find the right person who is willing to be a part of it. (We both have same tastes in women).
I have been a part of triads as the secondary. I was the one to leave both because I wanted to be in different places(I was young, wanted to see the world and traveled a lot, you know how it goes), my feelings for the people were not sufficient enough for me to stay and lead them on, so I left so that feelings would not be hurt worse than they were with my choosing to leave. They were not bad experiences, but not for me at a time in my life where I was unable to sit still in one place for long.
Hell, I never wanted to settle down and get married...then I met my husband lol. He shares a lot of my opinions, beliefs, and openness to try different things that others consider "taboo" or just wont do. He communicates with me like no one else ever has and we are equal on the same wavelengths and same page so to speak, and he is able to fulfill my hunger for intellectual stimulation. This is rare to find in someone, especially to find someone who understands me so well. So, lo-and-behold, I ended up changing my mind about marriage and losing my fear of commitment.