The way I tend to look at this type of situation is a combination of "a bird in the hand is worth two in a bush" and "if it ain't broke don't fix it". No dirty puns intended, and not to be taken literally (especially the "ain't broke" part).
In my case, "being poly" is not so important to me that I'd say "see ya" if my husband said "It's either monogamy or nothing". Although, we have always been poly in theory when it comes to me being with other women... recently I realized and he agreed that it doesn't really matter what the gender of the "other person" is. So, theoretically, he is now "allowed" to pursue love-relationships with other women, but I don't think he is interested. Please don't interpret this to mean that I would dump someone or expect him to do so if we were to become involved. I am describing the way things are and the way they have been. If we were to get other people involved in our dynamic, it certainly could be a "game-changer" as is being discussed in another thread. I meant that today, the way things are RIGHT NOW, if he came to me and said "I don't want this", I would agree to that.
Anyway, what I am trying to say without hijacking the conversation is that I would choose to stay with my husband if he gave me that ultimatum because one great relationship is not worth leaving for two or more potentially great relationships. Again, this is JUST ME and I'm not trying to say that this is the right way to go about it for anyone else.
Last edited by NeonKaos; 03-02-2010 at 04:24 AM.