Thread: New to it all
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Old 09-20-2013, 02:18 AM
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AilaLynn AilaLynn is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: usa
Posts: 20

Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post

Did they both decide to break up, or was that mainly his idea?
She was the one who decided to leave him for the 3rd time. She has some chemical imbalance issues that made her and makes her extremely difficult to live with and she becomes irrational and explodes constantly. Hence, why she is on medication now (due to me pointing out to her she needs it so she can be better for her kids. They already resented her and hated her because of how she has acted for so long without meds and for taking them away from their dad in the first place). She felt it was becoming extremely unhealthy of an environment due to her issues, so she left. He was the one who pursued the divorce and finalized their relationship ending.

Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
The desire to be with one's kids is a powerful force. It is unfortunately possible that he initiated all this because it was the only way he could think of to get his kids back, even if he didn't *necessarily* intend to snatch custody away from her. The point is, getting her to move back to your part of the country does give him considerable access to his kids that he otherwise wouldn't have. So his motives have to be questioned. It would unfortunately explain why he doesn't *really* want to have sex with her.
That makes sense why he isn't truly interested and doesn't try that hard. I, too, noticed he does the bare minimum to keep her happy to keep her here. He even grumbles and complains to me every time it is his night to spend alone with her. He avoids it for as long as possible and will sit up with me or seek me out to sit with me until he can't stay up any longer. I know he has told her a lot of times that if I ever leave because of her that she can forget being with him because if I'm not here he doesn't want anyone. He's also told her if I leave because of her then she goes too. It just sucks cause I hate to see her sad. It just sucks it would be for selfish reasons, you know. Yet, at the same time I can understand his want of his kids being around. I want them around too, but I'm not gonna make her stay if she doesn't want to. I can understand him not trusting her because she has screwed him over so many times, but to lead someone on just for the kids? I don't wanna be the one to tell her that he doesn't care for her (some of the things he tells me) because he should be the one to do that. But I think she already knows he doesn't because she has commented to me that she knows "he doesn't want me cause if he did he wouldn't tell me every chance he gets that if you go then I go."(her words).
also know he has told me he doesn't care what she thinks or feels about it when we decide to bring someone into a relationship with us. He says if we find someone we both click with and it goes into a relationship then it's gonna happen. He says she can get over herself and it is our life to be free to be with who we want to. I have to agree with that because I'm not limiting ourselves on the love we give out just because one person doesn't want us to do that.

Thank you for the insight kevin, I never questioned it being for reasons purely for the kids I assumed he did care at least a little or he wouldn't be dealing with the crap she puts him through. In that light, I guess you are right, people would put up with a lot if it meant getting to keep their kids.
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