Hey OP, this is me: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=56025
6 months into what started out of swinging we find is very much a quad relationship.
It's a LOT of work and the benefits are TENfold if not more what the work can be. Much of the work I find now has been struggling AGAINST what this is. We are just now leaning in to the flow and starting on the path to treat it just exactly as it is. A quad relationship that needs maintenance. To quote my girlfriend, "it's miraculous enough to find ONE person we can manage a marriage with, now I have THREE people's emotions to manage???"
I wouldn't trade it for anything. My wife comes first and is my primary, as my girlfriend is the primary of her husband...but those lines sure can blur up fast when we're together and the good times roll.
I for one NEVER thought I would ever be poly...and yet, here I am. I never thought I would be a Dom either...but my girlfriend exposed that side of me to her sub side so hey...live, love and GROW!
You pose the question to yourself...or you wonder out loud...if you would ever do it again. I think having seen the "light" on the subject matter in practice in my life, I do believe I would...though I hope I never have to because I absolutely ADORE my wife and my girlfriend!!!!!