Well, hopefully this will help you get further down the road of learning where each of you are in your feelings on poly and relationships. Sometimes it's not until we actually experience something that we really know how we feel. We make our best possible informed guess, but reality can sometimes be quite different.
With any luck, it will help each of you be able to be more open with each other about how you really feel.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb