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Old 09-19-2013, 08:42 AM
london london is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635

I didn't mention what Josie does in her other relationship because it isn't relevant. What is relevant is that Josie's discomfort with polyamory is impacting on other people's relationships. Her husband might have been fine with it, but the person he was dating wasn't. The issue isn't trying to make things "fair" or "equal" when comparing Josie's relationship with her girlfriend with her husband's relationship with his girlfriend, it's about making sure that both his wife and his girlfriend have a fair and equal opportunity to have a say about what happens in their relationships. In this instance, Josie got a say in how often her husband sees his girlfriend, her husband got a say in how much he sees his girlfriend, but the girlfriend never got a chance to say how much she would like to see her boyfriend. If you are practicing a hierarchical form of polyamory that explicitly puts the needs of the primary style partner above the needs of any secondary partners, that's cool, just make sure everyone is aware of that. If you wish to follow a more egalitarian form that does not privilege relationships in that fashion, then I think it should have been handled differently.
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