Originally Posted by starmonkey
Has anyone had the experience of temporarily closing an open relationship when someone is having a really difficult time? I'm not talking about a few pangs of insecurity or jealousy, I am talking about crippling emotional meltdowns where one of the partners can't function at all.
This has happened with my girlfriend, and I was wondering how other people have handled this - and how it turned out.
Originally Posted by Dagferi
Honestly I would NEVER cut an existing relationship off because my other partner was having a bad time. It is not fair to the other person.
But I would not start a new relationship.
Using this method.
Medical crisis as well.
When I was in medical crisis in 2010(3 major surgeries in 1 year)-the guys both opted for not dating new people or seeking new partners.
When I was in a mental health crisis 2012-same thing.
The first one lasted 8 months. The second one was resolved within 3 months. But in both cases, I was under Dr. supervision asap.
Definitely reasonable to look at an existing relationship and say "WOW-this person I care for is having a crisis that requires more of my time and attention."
I wouldn't consider terminating an existing relationship.
BUT-I would certainly look at a partner and say "my other partner is in crisis, I'm going to be tied up a lot in the next few weeks/months helping deal with that, which is going to put a HUGE crimp in my time availability. i don't want you to think this is a sign I don't care for/love (choose your appropriate term) you-if it was you in crisis, I would absolutely do the same for you-but this person I care for needs more of my time and attention while we deal with this crisis."
BUT-I wouldn't leave it to myself to fix the issue with them either.
If someone is suffering that severe of an emotional reaction, they need medical attention.
I have severe depression.
I have anxiety.
I have struggled with PTSD issues.
The bottom line is-that these things require more care than "closing a relationship" could ever give.