Another wonderful Wednesday with M! Gosh, we had sex in 3 different places today - once in the woods in a park while geocaching, once on a rock out in the middle of a river cutting through a different park, and the once in the evening, in the back of my minivan. He gets me so fucking hot - and the fact that he can just keep going is amazing to me - the fact that he has difficulties achieving orgasm just means longer playtime and more great feelings for me!
We had some good discussions today too - we talked about the IUD idea vs diaphragms, and he is happy with either. He agrees he'd rather me not have an IUD if there is potential for longer periods and consequently less intimate time together. Friday he is coming to my appointment with me at the Gyno to get details about our options. Love that he is interested in being involved and supportive with this.
That said, we didn't use condoms at all today, but at no time was he even close to climaxing inside me. He did ask how I felt about it, and I'm not really all that concerned. My husband is aware of the situation and is ok with my judgement on the subject. M said his wife would probably be upset, and that she did ask about him using condoms during our sleepover last week. He said he told her we used 2. This is true, but he didn't tell her that we went without afterward. This pinged me - he is obviously ok with not being entirely truthful. He did explain further that he didn't feel it was necessary to talk more with her because they have not been sexually intimate in a long while and it would not be effecting her. I am going to talk more with him about this on Friday. Would he tell her if they were suddenly become intimate? I would like to believe he would.
Apparently they did finally have discussion about overnights, and she okayed one a week. She just asked that she have as much notice as possible, when possible. I told him I was not happy with having my choices limited, but that I understood their current dynamic necessitates my toeing the line here. They have a lot of outside stresses on their combined lives together right now, and having to adjust to his new relationship with me is an added concern for her. However, it still rankles some.
M says the sex part of it is perfectly fine for H, it's the emotional part that she doesn't get. He says though they have all these shared years together, his emotional bond with me has confused her, because it is really strong.
We also talked about primary vs secondary relationships. He says right now I am definitely his emotional and sexual primary, and financial too - as he is a stay at home dad and all of his cash comes from part time hobby work. And around 80% of his money is now being spent on dates with me. However, in other ways, he says he just doesn't see how I can ever attain primary status - he has a family that takes up his time and household obligations that dictate his schedule. And of course, almost 20 years of history with his wife.
This sounds completely honest to me. I have to say he actually isn't my primary in anything at this point, but he didn't ask me for his status. I actually don't think about that much - I love him lots and he's super important to me. I wouldn't dump him just because my husband wanted me to, that's for sure.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal
Me, Central Hub in a star shape (38F)
Wife to DarkKnight (39M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (42M)
Girlfriend to WarMan (40M) - Monkey is his long time friend