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Old 03-01-2010, 01:06 AM
saudade saudade is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 139
Default Clarifying

Redpepper,

What we do on a daily basis is definitely boundary negotiation. I like that term for it! We do still have veto power, however (even if we've never used it). I've gotten the sense that Z feels more comfortable knowing that he has the option, and I feel that way a bit myself. It's like having a safety valve; even if the mechanism is unlikely to implode, it's still reassuring to know there's a fail-safe in place.

Now that I'm reflecting on it, part of why that ability is so comforting to Z and I (and not especially important to K) is that it has a bit of our flavor of dominance/submission to it. We do take care of each other quite a bit, and the ability to veto a prospective partner is another way of caring for each other.

~S
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