I feel the same way, Mono. Just because I am attracted to men and women, I have never looked to be "in" a "gay" or "TGBLQ" "community". I'd rather hang with cat-people and if someone there happens to be gay or bi (or CF*) then great, we can identify or connect about that, but it's the cat-things that I actually find "community". I am now connecting with certain individuals in the roller-derby "community" and finding out some of them are poly, gay, CF, or whatever, but I certainly wouldn't look to the "poly community" or "CF community" first, hoping there are cat-people and derby-people within it. I simply don't think that sexual or relationship/lifestyle preferences are enough in and of themselves to find the common ground to establish true friendships.
*CF = child-free