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Old 02-28-2010, 05:30 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

I think there is no way of telling what is going on for the women that he is seeking. My version of what happened to me when I was sexually promiscuous and casual with sex is not the same as everyone else. I was forcing myself because I thought that was what was expected of me and that I would not be accepted and included in what is going on culturally right now around sex. Other women won't struggle with this... I did and do.

(just a thought to all those guys who think they are "pleasing" a whole bunch of women? I faked every orgasm I had and was not pleased at all. In fact I was disgusted.... sorry, but you may not be pleasing them at all, what might be pleasing is that they are appreciated for a deep meaningful conversation and a good laugh over your objectifying their body and licking their clit until you think they have cum.)

Do I think that casual sex is becoming far too common place? Yes, I think it is a bit of a free for all for men these days with the atmosphere of "slut culture" and "sex positive" ways of looking at things. I think that people are not getting a balanced view of things and that they make decisions based on what is going on culturally around sex not what might be best for them...

What do we do about it... I don't know? plain and simple. I guess the only thing to do is make sure that he knows what it is he is interested in and why... is he wanting to fill some gap because you are going about looking for another partner? Then that would be a red flag for me that would need some talking about. It isn't a competition. Is he just taking advantage of his position in a situation? ie. some drunk girl who thinks that the only way to fit in is to fuck as many guys as she can? then ya, another red flag... is it that he has a group of female friend that want to extend their friendship with him because it would be fun...? not so big a flag.

It's up to you to decide and then communicate until you are both understood. After he has played around a bit I am sure there will be more talk again.... always the communication. Checking with his gut instinct before engaging in sex with someone and not his cock might help... (don't tell me men can't do that, because I don't believe it. They know as well as I do what feels right and what doesn't)

It could also be that the two of you are just very different sexually. Sometimes that can happen that two people get together and find that they are. I have certainly learned that I don't want poly partners that take sex casually as having fun. Others are able to. I am just not. Everyone has their own way of dealing with things and you will have to decide how you will. Does it affect you to your core values, or just it just make you nervous...? lots of questions and lots of answers only you know.
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