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Old 02-27-2010, 04:56 PM
DrunkenPorcupine's Avatar
DrunkenPorcupine DrunkenPorcupine is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 175

The short version of Veto context, purpose and some shortfalls can be found on Xeromag's Poly Dictionary.
Thanks for this, it answered my question.

You want to do X
I'm uncomfortable with that. I tell you why. It may involve safety etc. I may have insight you are not aware of. YOU may have info I am not aware of.
One we have all the facts in front of us so both are at the same level - you still choose to do X
I lose respect for you, our relationship and may develop real concerns about your judgment.


You proceed to do X against my recommendation
It turns out well
I learn something, about myself, about your judgment etc.
I'm big enough to admit I was mistaken, have learned something, and we become closer

Simple stuff
No power dynamics required.
This. Very much this. Thanks GS!

I'll take the possibility of fucking up a relationship of mine by crossing a boundary rather than the CERTAIN possibility that I'll destroy it by assuming I have any claim over my partner's choices.
Connection is the path to passion. Passion is not the path to connection.
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