Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
I told him that one of the people on here had a policy that she never slept with anyone until "seeing their papers" and I thought that sounded like a great idea. But obviously impractical for bar pick-ups, etc.
So what's the scoop? I don't have an emotional issue with him having sex with strangers, I'm just worried about the safety factor of one-night-stands, even with condoms.
Unfortunately in this day and age, if you want to protect yourself against warts, that usually means "HPV barriers". That means having barriers for *any* intimate skin to skin contact...using gloves and dental dams. And yes, condoms do NOT protect against HPV for two reasons:
- Many warts are located where skin would touch skin even with the condom in place.
- When HPV is shedding virus cells, they can live on the surface of the condom and be transferred to your hand, another part of the skin that the condom may come in contact with and then transfer again from that location. In other words, it's a VERY tricky virius that spreads easily and can spread with second hand contact.
Since some varieties of HPV are oral, some people even put kissing behind that barrier.
(It should be noted that the vast majority of HPV viri are not permanent and do eventually clear up)
Now, while a lot of fun can be had with gloves, dental dams and some creative uses of lube, unfortunately, the vast majority of people would be picked up at bars probably wouldn't see it that way.
One of the solutions to that is to find a group of like minded people and just hang out with them. There are many crowds of sex-postitive people who like to have play parties but are always aware of and ok with the negotiations that go around HPV barriers and other boundaries that people may want to have in place for safe sex.
But yeah, because of the boundaries I choose (and a great deal of this is out of respect for the boundaries that exist among my sweetie and his other relationships), picking up strangers in a bar just doesn't fit with those boundaries.