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Old 09-16-2013, 09:27 AM
Alpha Alpha is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Bradford, West Yorkshire, England
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Next, I just want to ask what happened to the friend of yours you got to experiment with before your SO told you to dump her. Is she still a friend? if I were her, I would not be. It's rather cruel to experiment on other people, test poly out, while letting your partner call the shots for relationships she is not in. If I had been treated like that, man, I would be pissed and tell you to grow a pair.
We're still in touch and still really good friends. She knew what the score was when we started seeing each other and was ok with that. She has been in poly relationships successfully in the past but is now married to a mono guy, so they are kinda going through the same stuff. It wasn't just an experiment for myself.

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Maybe you two are better off breaking up, who knows (it's not the end of the world if that happens - most relationships aren't meant to last forever), but I think you are both settling and unhappy. I also would say that any big changes to your relationship need to happen slowly and with more forethought and consideration - for everyone you may get involved with, not just your long-term main squeeze.
It's something we have considered. We're both willing to make it work it just sucks that one or both of us is going to suffer for it.

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First of all, I just want to say that there are puhhh-lenty of people in their 60s and older with wonderful sex lives, with totally hot, frequent sex. I'm just sayin'.
I know a few couples like that myself, poor choice of words perhaps. Sorry if I offended anyone with that.

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What do you really expect anyone here to tell you?
I honestly don't know. I really don't want to break up over this but can't see how we can be happy either with her having to share part of me or me suppressing my feelings. I suspect either can/may lead to guilt and resentment down the line.

Thanks for the input guys, I suspect that having read quite a few other posts there isn't anybody who has been successful in a forced mono relationship knowing they are poly. And I guess if they were, they wouldn't still be reading the polyamory forum ^_^
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