It does make sense. You are.. the first. The begining. And I guess there is that sense of pressure in being the capstone for all that is to follow.. good AND bad.
So your fear of her chosing to leave is natural. And quite frankly, your fear is a part of this new word I kept seeing on here. Compersion? You take full joy and satisfaction from the love and joy that your loved one has in his marriage. And you love him deeply and you WANT for this to continue for him.
That his marriage is at risk, you FEAR the hurt and possible pain that would be a by product of this break up. (should it occur) Becuase any possible pain that he may feel, so will you by way of this compersion
this loving empathic sympathy. I do so hope I am making sense.
However! I am not the only one here? Mono? I do so not mean to be calling you out but, am I getting the explanation right?
I will keep you in my prayers Alli. And I am hoping the best for you and your loves.