Being a person who likes to handle my own problems I've never asked someone to tell so and so to stop doing this or that. Its silly to me.
My fiance did this when I first came out as poly. He didn't want to speak to my now boyfriend at all, but he tried to communicate with him through me. I went with it for a little while, relaying messages back and forth and then enough was enough and I said I wasn't going to be a middle man anymore. They both knew what the issues were so they were stuck with eachother to figure it out.
I think in our relationship its important that we all feel we can talk about issues in confidence with one another. But the way we do it is, lets say I am having an issue with my fiance, I talk to my boyfriend about the issue and my boyfriend doesn't involve his own feelings into the mix and tries to be unbiased in his 2 cents about the situation. If theres an issue between my 2 boys, I listen to both and give my honest opinion as an outsider. When doing this I (early on) would cut out any passive aggressive comments or disresect one had for the other so I wouldn't try to come to the other's rescue so to speak.
It works for us because we are all the kind that becomes affected when things happen and its hard to hide even the smallest issues. So one mishap affects the whole group and thus I see that everyone KNOW what's going on. But theres a big difference in that and tucking your tail in between your legs and making others deal with things you should be handling.
Oh and SchrodingersCat, that's always a common thing with children that are not our own. Whether its a new step child or a naughty kid at a birthday party, its best to take it up with the parent. 1) kids are impressionable and 2) no one wants to get bit by a momma wolf! lol
Last edited by Ilove2men; 02-26-2010 at 05:39 PM.
Reason: Major Typos!