This is a question that applies whether or not a person is Polyamorous or Monoamorous or whatever else configuration there might be:
What's the best techniques you've used to discover whether the person you're beginning to date/take an interest in dating is a Drama King/Queen?
What is your definition of a Drama King/Queen?
Here's my thoughts:
Drama King/Queens are people who like emotional upheaval. They like to feel the ups and downs and the contrasts in between. Not only the joy of feeling better after having felt angry, but also the disappointment in feeling upset after having felt good.
If drama is not present in your relationship, the Drama King/Queen will dredge some up. With relationships with friends, or with you, or with their work environment, or with strangers doing all sorts of things.
In the past, my main mistake with DK/Q's was looking at their behavior in a short-term manner, and finding some way to write it off. They're acting this way because it's stressful at work - I understand, no problem. They're talking this way because their parent is ill - I understand, no problem. But what I didn't see was this behavior they were exhibiting WAS a long term behavior, and when this stressor was removed, another would be found in its place to explain the behavior. And another, and another. And by that time I was already strongly committed to them and it wasn't easy to cut ties and back away anymore.
I'm not sure how to screen.
You see, I'm confused. Are there Drama King/Queens who focus on the fun positive, life-affirming dramas as opposed to the negative, life-draining ones?
Are there even SUCH THINGS as life-affirming dramas? There's got to be... anything that surges emotion can be considered drama, right?
I want to find someone with emotion who isn't flat, but whose sense of drama doesn't bring them into the depths of despair except in the extreme rarest circumstance, and even then, only for a short short period of time.
How do I recognize him ?