I was introduced to this forum by my GF(recently anounced so) as one of her resources to explain what it is she is asking me consider, roughly 6 months ago now.
I'm found by one of my most special friend and old love. You know the story. Messages leads to talk. Talk leads to dessires. Leads to actions. She is still in house with her family. At the time things were wrong at home. And under the impression that things were over. We start building a deeply intimate relation. She is next state 3 hours away so I can't just walk over and see her when I like X( but given the circumstances this was for the best ATM. The distance still eats me up. We plan our first meet up a months time from our intimate talk start. She put out that she still loves the father of her daughter but being that I was just out of a unhealthy marriage with a angry wife but the best mother I could ever ask for for my daughter, I thought I understood her reasoning for the love. Nope I hadn't a clue.
At our first meet a month after spending almost literally every spare second off the clock talking to each other and on the clock messaging one another. We see each other in person for the first time in almost 13 years. Wow. This amazing caring person is right there before me( lol sorry for mushiness ). We talk. Walk. Get some grub. And that's when she tells me she is confused as to what she truely wants. And that this that we were doing was not settling well with her. I could tell she was under stress but had no idea what about. she asks that we not spend the night together. I'm a weird person, when an emotional bond is broke I don't have sexual urges, but I am first and foremost her friend so I try to help her work out what it is that's troubling her. We head our respective directions home.
After A few days of worrying and trying to figure out what she needs to be right Again. She introduces me to this forum and wikepedia(sp?). And that she is going to tell her fiancée about me and her wish to have the both of us intimately in her life. I was not terribly sure I was ok with the thought of it. So I begged her to never tell him of me and work on repairing what has with him. Stubborn is the only word that explains her ways. She was attoning for her actions against him and introducing me to her family at the same time. Oh if only we knew then what we know now.
Needless to say my first conversation with him was not a conversation lol but a drunken school trash talking minute(let me explain myself a little more- I quit sharing my feelings and thoughts with just about everyone, one becouse my wife quit listening and it felt better to hold it in than be ignored and second cause I felt all I did was complain when I had my few Precious moments around my brothers. But since I moved out of my marriage I put and end to such behavior. And promised I would never debase myself so low ever again). Back to the first talk with him, he asked I answered. Did I touch her? Yes. Would I have gone farther? Yes. I am so sorry he met me in this point of my life. I would have loved to sugar coat it for him to spare his feelings.
I told her to let me be the bad guy And he can hate me and forgive her. But, stubborn and walks the narrow path of righteousness ; ) somewhat. Granted I don't steal gfs, or wives. Im very sensitive to cheating. In my eyes its not what we were doing. But not to him and I guess her. Never really had her clarify if she felt it was.
Phone convo 1. Not good. Phone convo 2. not any better. Now she is fully explaining to him her dessires as us. I'm still not sure I can handle this at all. But she has stolen my heart fully and I have to know if this is possible, so I agree to start this trip to where ever it takes us.
Ill remember this next phone Call from him till the day I die I'm sure. The first sign of love in his voice, confused but knowing he needs her in his life and is willing to meet me in person and work on her and I getting dates. Seems like an eternity ago. He is giving me the third degree on her safety of her heart and a few threats ; ) and here i am with one of the largest smiles on my face the whole time because my bubbys dream is starting to maybe be a realization.
Lol that's first chapter
Promise ill work on sentence breaks next time
Last edited by budKEP; 02-26-2010 at 03:24 AM.
Reason: merge posts