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Old 09-12-2013, 02:22 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,365

Originally Posted by london View Post
So why did it unsettle you that he was speaking for her? Your friend/minder/boytoy would have spoken up for you if someone else was doing things you would have taken objection to, so why was it different with this guy and his girl? I see the disconnect. My minder is there to protect me from my own bad decisions, and only secondarily, and in extreme cases, from other people. As my friend/minder, MrClean would have spoken TO ME if MY behavior was getting out of control in terms of getting arrested/raped/absconded with - i.e. I decided to do a strip tease down mainstreet, follow people into dark alleys or accompany people into panel vans.

He would have taken me aside and reminded me that I was drunk and not using my best judgement and that he had agreed to help me be safe for the evening and then convinced me that it was time to go home. If someone ELSE was doing something that I would have taken objection to - I would have been telling them off MYSELF and he would only step in if they were ignoring my objections or preventing him from doing his "friend-job" of keeping me safe (i.e. preventing him from talking to me/convincing me to go home). The only time that he would have "spoken up for me" directly is if I was actually incapacitated (i.e. passed out drunk and someone was messing with me).

Kind of like a "Living Will" - the clause only kicks in if someone is actually incapable of speaking for themselves. The "minder" role is a safety-net of last resort - for if I screw up and let myself go too far. Under usual circumstances the "minder" role never comes into play and he would just be the "designated driver".

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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