I'm so confused that I don't realy know where to start. I met this guy on line. We have know eadh other for 2 and a half years, He has a gf been living with her for 4 yrs now. I allowed myself to delevop feelings for him. And he said he has for me too.His gf knew about me.
Any way I came to stay with them, on both of their having invited me for a week to test the waters so to speak.
First week went ok. sort of. I'm so very jealous of her and she says she is of me too. first few days i'd sleep in a room on my own, but have sex with him when she was at work. She didnt like this and said she'd rather we do it in front of her. so that turned into a threesome, which although was ok not ideally my thing. I had oral sex with her, then he had sex with both of us. Then they insisted i sleep on their room, which i did, with him sleeping on my bed, which we had put in their room ,and i in with her. i said i wanted to sleep with him too,(i am a huge cuddler and love to sleep plastered up against my partner, in fact i dont sleep well and this way i get better sleep), and she has him when i;m back home, so she slept on my bed and i slept on their bed with him.
we all lay on the bed together watching a movie before settling down for the night.
They talk of me as part of the family, and of us getting a house together and living as one.
I am here again for a week and this time i insisted i sleep on my bed again. had this stupid idea i wanted to watch them sleeping together. not sex but how they cuddle and stuff. and i'm so jealous because i want to be there not her.
Can you see where I'm at?
every night since i have been here this time she wants to sleep on my bed, then he said rotate
that hurt so much. i dont want 1 night out of 3 i want every night !!!! So stupid stubborn me thinks i need to distance myself from him, want to kill these feeling i have for him, so i been on my bed, and my heart is breaking and i bearly speak to either of them and i dunno what to do about the situation,
i dont want to lose him and living together as a family sounds good because i get a female friend and she gets one in me.
she is willing to share him, so why do i find it so hard??
i seem to be the only one with the problem, and i dunno who else to talk to, he says them but it all seems so petty and i feel small. so can't
i dont care about the sex. i just want to be able to cuddle up to the man i love every night and when the demons chase me, have some one to hold on too.
So very sad, just want to go home, climb into my bed, put my blanket over my head, cry myself to sleep and never wake up. wipe him out my life but both ask me to try. I just need to find a way to deal with the hurt i feel.
he wants me to sleep cuddled up to her on the nights i spend in the bed with her if we do the rotation, but its not the same ffs. i like her but love him.
when we watch tv at night he tries to put me in the middle.
I know there is many things that need to be sorted out hoping i get some advice from ppl on here.